


Fanmix:  manage me (i'm a mess)

by thosesamestarsx



Category: Hockey RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:08:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5033140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosesamestarsx/pseuds/thosesamestarsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for spoilers!</p></blockquote>





	1. Track List

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alotofthingsdifferent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alotofthingsdifferent/gifts).



Go [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5028076) to read the amazing story!

[4shared](http://www.4shared.com/zip/24lhCEEpce/Manage_Me_Im_a_mess.html)  
[8 tracks](http://8tracks.com/thosesamestarsx/manage-me-i-m-a-mess-2)

 **Tracklist:**  
Hurt - Johnny Cash  
Eyes Shut - Years  & Years  
I Gave It All - Aquilo  
Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys  
Angel - The Weeknd  
Set Fire to the Third Bar - Snow Patrol  
Home - Daughter  
High Hopes - Kodaline  
Writing’s On The Wall - Sam Smith  
For Blue Skies - Strays don’t sleep  
Incomplete - James Bay

 **Bonus:**  
Weightless - All Time Low * chosen by Jay and Amanda  
Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars * chosen by Amanda  
Renegades - X Ambassadors


	2. Song Choices: Snippets of Inspiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for spoilers!

Hurt - Johnny Cash  
_The night Brent’s dad left, Jonny found him sitting under the monkey bars at the old playground down the road, drinking from a bottle hidden in a brown paper bag. Jonny was only 13, three years younger than Brent, but for some reason, he was exactly who Brent needed right then. Someone who wasn’t judging him for his reactions, for drinking or for running away or for the fat tears that wouldn’t stop spilling from his eyes. Jonny just sat down next to him and let him talk, let him say everything he was feeling without fear of being told he was stupid or wrong, without telling him everything was going to be ok._

Eyes Shut - Years & Years  
_“Hey,” he’d said, his fingers touching Brent’s wrist where it rested on the stick shift. The ride home had been silent up to that point, and Brent wished it had stayed that way. “I’m glad it was you,” Jonny said, and brushed his lips to Brent’s cheek before getting out of the car. Brent grips the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles go white and takes one last look in the mirror before hanging a right. His departure just got moved up by a week._

I Gave It All - Aquilo  
_“I’ll see ya, kid. Be good in California.” Jonny’s face falls, and another brick is added to the wall around Brent’s heart._

Do I Wanna Know - Arctic Monkeys  
_“I spent the last four years sleeping with guys who weren’t you, Brent. They looked like you, all of them. They looked liked you and they dressed like you and they smiled like you, but it wasn’t the same.”_

Angel - The Weeknd  
_It’s fine, Brent thinks, that Jonny has a boyfriend. It’s maybe a little bit of a shock, but Brent can handle it. It’s not like he and Jonny will ever be together – they had one night seven years ago, it was never going to be a love story – but still, Brent feels a little stick to his stomach._

Set Fire to the Third Bar - Snow Patrol  
_And now here he is, standing in front of an apartment building on some numbered street in LA, his dingy t-shirt clinging to his sweaty skin and his days-unwashed hair slicked back out of his face. He tucks the piece of paper back into his wallet and crosses the street._

Home - Daughter  
_Jonny’s been the only constant in Brent’s life since he was sixteen years old, and neither time nor distance had changed that.  
“Why are you here, Brent?” Jonny asks, not for the first time since Brent’s shown up. Brent wrings his hands, blows out a breath, and turns his head to look at Jonny. “I’ve been running for too long, Jon,” he says quietly. “I just – wanted to come home.”_

High Hopes - Kodaline  
_He knows he’s running from home, from the memories of a father who never wanted him and a mother who loved him, but had to spend too much time working to show it. He’s running from having to grow up too quickly, from a lost childhood, and always, always from the one person who ever made him feel like he was worth more than any of that._

Writing’s On The Wall - Sam Smith  
_They were from completely different worlds, he and Jonny – always had been – but somehow, here they were. Jonny always told Brent that they needed one another – that even though they were different, they fit together like the last two pieces of a thousand-piece puzzle. Brent never believed him, and yet Jonny is the one he’d run back to. Brent’s spent a lot of time trying not to think about what that means. “I’m sorry,” he goes on, and Jonny stops walking, turns to Brent and frowns. “For all of it, Jon. I’m sorry for the way I’ve always treated you, I just–”_

For Blue Skies - Strays don’t sleep  
_“I don’t want to run anymore,” he says quietly, the first time he’s admitted it out loud, and Jonny hesitates for just a beat before wrapping his fingers around Brent’s wrist and pulling him inside. Brent kicks the door closed with his foot and cups Jonny’s face in both hands, kissing him like he should have kissed him the first time around, slow and sweet, his thumbs stroking Jonny’s jaw. Jonny melts into him, his arms winding around Brent and pulling him close, holding him there. “I’m sorry,” Brent says into the kiss, “I’m so sorry.”_

Incomplete - James Bay  
_Jonny’s quiet for a long moment, and when he pulls back, his eyes search Brent’s. “What do you want?” Brent doesn’t hesitate this time. He doesn’t second-guess, and he doesn’t run scared. He touches his lips to Jonny’s. “You,” he says simply, and when Jonny pulls him in close, he doesn’t shy away. For the first time in a really long time, he’s exactly where he wants to be._


End file.
